How to Fail a Driver's Test in PA USA

Okay, I failed. I failed for driving too slow, driving too fast, driving with one hand, hands-free driving, coasting, and etc.

Here's the entire depressing and embarrassing chronology of events. You can read this to get an idea of what will be asked of you during the driver's test.

I showed up with Dad at the scheduled 11 am time. I presented my permanent resident card, learner's permit, car insurance, car registration, and Dad's (my accompanying driver) license. I was told to drive out back behind the building (with Dad by my side), and park at the White Line just before the spot where I was to perform the Parallel Park. You get three chances. If you don't do it right, you fail immediately and will not be allowed to continue the test. I found out later that many people don't even make it out of the parking lot!

I was kinda nervous. The examiner, Dan, stood outside the car, barking instructions while I fumbled to keep up with him "Turn your left signal on"... " now your right"... "turn your windshield wipers on"... "now your headlights" ..." and highlights"...  When he asked me to turn on the hazard lights, I couldn't find them. I turned on the wrong thing. Heck I don't drive this car all that often! By the time I figured it out and got the hazard lights working, I was Miss Nervous.

Examiner Dan got into the car, buckled his seatbelt and tried to reassure me: "I can see you're nervous, just relax and drive, I'll tell you what you need to do". Thanks Examiner Dan.

He told me to perform the Parallel Park. I made it! However, I got dinged because I didn't have my turn signal on when I went to do it. In my favor, I had the turn signal on when I pulled out (after executing the Park), and, I also turned my entire head back to look behind me.

Examiner Dan gave me turn-by-turn directions for a short 10 minute drive around the residential area facing the DMV. My having driven that exact same route yesterday (when Dad flunked me 5 times) gave me a bit of confidence. In the map below I've marked the six stop signs (red circles). Some of these were four way, and some were two way where you'd have to give way to the crosswise traffic. I'll highlight the potentially tricky parts and also the yellow numbered boxes where I got dinged.

Leaving the parallel parking spot, I turned left onto S. Harrison St. I made sure to stop at the stop sign before turning. I went down that street until I came to Butler Rd (Rte 422), which would be the most intimidating part of your route if you're a new driver. He asked me to turn right then the first left onto Harrison St. To accomplish this, I had to get onto the middle of the busy highway ('the median turning lane') first. Impressive deft turn signaling was involved in this complex maneuver.

1. Driving Too Slow. I got hit another for going 17 mph in a 25 mph on N. Crescent Ave. Erm, I didn't even know I could get dinged for going too slow. 
2. Driving with One Hand. My hand lingered too long on the stick shift while down-shifting. Two hands must be on the wheel at all times. Driving with No Hands (for approximately 0.001 seconds) - I allowed the steering wheel to turn back by itself (both hands off the wheel) after the turn. 
3. Driving Too Fast. Some point along Residential Ave I hit a whopping 27 mph in this 25 mph zone. Examiner Dan told me that you absolutely do not go over the speed limit during a drivers test. Yes sir.
4. Coasting. I coasted four car lengths to the stop sign. Coasting is prohibited! One has no control over the vehicle when it is coasting like that. Stopping only one second at Stop Sign - did not stop at least two seconds at the stop sign. This counts as rolling past the stop sign. 

Sigh!

When we got back to the parking lot, Examiner Dan gently broke the news to me that I had made too many mistakes to be able to pass. Then he went through each one, explaining to me the error of my ways. I nodded dumbly, tears rolling down my cheeks.  Okay well, I didn't cry. I'm just exaggerating hehe. Anyway, he said I could come back to retake the test.

Thanks Dad for the company (again) :p

xo Gracie

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